Thursday, March 22, 2012

Disconsolate & Sanguine

It's the end of the day, and I'm all alone for the first time in over a week.  I used to crave this time of day; the kids are asleep and my Mister is working.  I have the house to myself and no one to interrupt whatever it is I want to do.

Except... I'm lonely.

It's the strangest feeling in the world.  The Libertine is with another of his girls, the Prime is with his wife.  The man I'll be meeting on Saturday is off in the ether somewhere, and for the first time in days my phone is quiet.  I keep checking it - maybe I missed the chirp?  But no.

I could be working on my writing.  I could be watching Netflix.  Instead I'm sitting here, typing out my thoughts to no one in particular hoping it helps me go to sleep tonight.  I'm sitting here, missing the Libertine fiercely; unsure of what I'm feeling and what I'm doing.  I'm sitting here, feeling the sting of a missed night with the Prime and the sadness of having to reschedule over a week out from today.

Completely at odds with this pressing feeling, I am excited for date night tomorrow with the Mister.  Starting tomorrow I have dates upon dates upon dates through the weekend.  The Mister and I are going downtown tomorrow night for a movie screening and a meet up.  Saturday I have a lunch date for beer and mini golf with a man I've been chatting up for a little over a month.  Saturday night I finally get to see my Libertine again, with the hopes that he will be able to stay through to Sunday.  Sunday night I have tentative plans with the Prime, but that will only work out if the planets align perfectly.

With my life this full, how can I be lonely?

No comments:

Post a Comment