Sunday, March 25, 2012

Highs & Lows

My date yesterday with the new boy went okay.  We had a good lunch, and had a good time mini golfing.  He and his wife are very, VERY new to the idea of being poly.  While we have much in common I don't think I have the mental capacity to work through all the problems that they have yet to face: things like balancing time, shedding the initial guilt of kissing a new partner (let alone sleeping with one), and the inevitable green eyed monster.

We did kiss, and he commented to me that it was odd to kiss someone besides his wife.  This is a giant red flag for me - if you're kissing me and thinking of your wife, you're not ready.  I am a damned good kisser, and I get lost in the moment of a kiss.  If I'm kissing you, you have my undivided attention.  If that's not the case for you, then something isn't clicking right.

I know that the Mister and I are considered newbies by most poly people's standards.. but we have the advantage that I lived this lifestyle before I was married.  I knew going in what was going to upset the Mister and what would probably be a non-issue.  We talked about a lot of the things I consider speed bumps before I went ahead and selected any new partners.  The new boy and his wife... they don't yet know what they're in for.

The Libertine came to spend the evening with me last night, and he met my kids.  They had a great time reading stories, watching Iron Man cartoons, and generally being silly.  Watching him with my kids only solidified what I already knew were extremely strong feelings.  We talked about my date, and he was sad for me that I don't think this boy will work out.  At the same time, he seemed relieved that I am confident and smart enough to make that decision before it becomes hard to make.

Tonight, I'm seeing the Prime for the first time in a week.  We chat every day, but I find myself missing him.  I miss the sound of his voice and his fingers when they tangle in my hair.  I miss commiserating with him about our children, both boys with some developmental delays.  I miss the warm place in the crook of his arm while we drink a beer and watch Netflix.

More about the Prime tomorrow... when I decide how much of that I'm going to share.

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