Tuesday, March 20, 2012

On being out

The closer the Libertine and I get, and the more time I spend with the Prime, the harder it is to keep my lifestyle a secret from the people I see everyday.  It's hard to come up with a good reason for a late night dinner with the Libertine.  It's hard to explain why male friends are watching comedy in your home after 10 pm.  I know I could just say that I'm hanging out with friends, but my coworkers and "normal" friends know me too well sometimes.  I am a terrible flirt, and usually inappropriate in conversation, a fact well known by many. 
The problem is, I want to share funny stories.  I want my friends to see how amazing my life is becoming.  I don't want to have to hide that I care for these men.
But I should.  In my line of work getting promoted is hard enough without the stigma of being perceived as a slut.  If my lifestyle were common knowledge, the chances of advancement become very small, because who can respect a woman that may or may not have fucked her way to the top?
I wish we could get past that stereotype.  Men who do it are esteemed, highly regarded for their skill with the ladies.  Women who do it are labeled as slutty, or accused of having poor self confidence.
I can tell you with absolute certainty that in order to date two men in addition to your husband, your self confidence needs to be really fucking high. 
The Libertine summed it up nicely for me last night after I commented on how beautiful it is to love two men in totally different ways: "love isn't a commodity, you can't run out of it."

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