Thursday, March 15, 2012

Branching Out

When I was in my 20's I dated around.  I was not, so to speak, a lady when it came to dating.  More likely you would have called my behavior slutty.  Not to say I slept with men immediately, or for the sake of getting off... but I had more than one partner at a time, and I rarely felt like tying myself down.

To say I've been through the breakup wringer more than once would be an understatement.

A few weeks ago, I met someone new.  We met via OKC, and he asked me to meet him for coffee less than 24 hours after we exchanged our first message.  I was freaked out, and nervous.  As soon as we met, I was blown away.  He is amazing, charming, funny, and just lovely.  I am completely out of my element with him, but I can't seem to get enough of him.

It is so strange, to have a man who cannot stop touching me.  It is so strange, to have someone who can't wait to talk to me in the morning, who says good night every evening.  Husband does these things, but it's familiar from him.  From this man, it's tantalizing and foreign.  He pushes my buttons in ways I forgot they could be pushed.

I find myself terrified that things will not work out.  I'm afraid I'll end up completely wrapped up in this man, and one of us will break it off for a stupid reason.  I know that this is what I signed up for, but it's still hard to actually live with.  I forgot how stressful dating can be.

Daily reminder:  don't play games, brutal honesty, never settle.  Otherwise, there's no point to this life.

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