Monday, August 6, 2012

So... that happened.

The Libertine and I have a very active sex life.  In the just over 5 months we have been dating, if you did some math, you would come up with, very conservatively, roughly 450 instances of us fucking.  Which, we admit, is a bit excessive.  The point is, we fuck a lot.

In early June the Libertine moved into a new apartment, and bought a new bed.  We haven't spent much more than a handful of nights at his apartment for logistical reasons, but it would be safe to say we've had sex in his bed somewhere between 20 and 40 times in the roughly 60 days he's owned it.  One afternoon recently we stopped at his apartment for some afternoon delight, and things got even more ... energetic than normal.  Downright acrobatic, even.  So, there we are, with our heads at the foot of the bed, having a great time, and suddenly this amazing metallic groaning began.  It was the same sound of incredible stress and fatigue that the Titanic made when the aft half of the ship separated from the bow, right before it hit the water. Finally, there came the sound of welds popping and the resounding thud of the bed frame slamming into the floor.  

After the initial shock and realization of what had just happened came the most ridiculous bout of laughter I've ever had. We were still mid-fuck, still entwined in each other, but now at the crazy 60 degree angle of a bed that has suddenly lost a corner support. Once the laughter died down, we did the only sensible thing - we kept fucking! For a brief moment I thought we were going to be okay and that we could ride out the crazy angle of the bed until we were finished. Not a second after I finished that thought, the mattress slid even further, depositing me on the floor on my shoulders and neck with my ankles by my ears. The Libertine barely managed to catch himself from going totally over with me by bracing his hands on the wall behind me, legs still trailing behind him on the bed.  

For those of you that know us in real life, I apologize for that mental image.

Also, did you know that trying to have sex while your partner is laughing uncontrollably is extremely uncomfortable for men?  Awkward position and physical and emotional discomfort aside, the Libertine still managed a grand finale. He performed with aplomb. So... that happened.

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