Friday, March 22, 2013


At some point in the last month or so, things at home got comfortable again.  The Mister and are still not perfect, we still haven't gotten back together intimately, but we are living in the same space peacefully again - something I had begun to think was impossible. 

I looked up about a week ago and it hit me that I was actually happy.  No, we're not where we need to be, but we're working towards it.  Yes, there will be adjustments and there will be changes as we figure out where we're going and what we need from each other... but at the end of the day we've gotten past the worst of it.  I think.

The Libertine is naturally nervous.  He doesn't want to lose his time with me, and I can respect that.  It's a fine balance we've struck, but I think we are going to be okay.

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Solving a Messy Problem

This is not an endorsed post, this is simply a product that I absolutely love and can't live without.  Men, you might find this post a bit tmi.

Period sex.  Some women like it, a lot of women hate it; a lot of women struggle with the mess and the embarrassment of something that happens to us naturally. I fall into this last category.  The Mister has never really been a fan of it, while the Libertine's attitude is more along the lines of "I'll fuck you either way." 

When we started dating, this was hard for me.  I looked for other ways to meet his needs while minimizing my own awkwardness.  Compounding the problem was my own innate horniness during those four long days each month.  It was as though Mother Nature was mocking me - I wanted nothing more than to wantonly fuck as much as possible, but the resulting mess and my constant "I'm sorry about that" were getting in the way of really enjoying the process.

Enter the Instead Softcup®. 

In December I came across a coupon flyer in our newspaper and was instantly intrigued.  The Softcup is a hypoallergenic cup designed to fit in the space just below the cervix, like a diaphragm.  I'd been curious about similar products in the past, like the Diva cup, but the necessity of removing the Diva cup for sex didn't really solve my problem.  The Softcup, however, can be worn during sex. Because it fits like a diaphragm, it doesn't have to be removed during intercourse.  It is flexible and my partners have hardly noticed it.

The first cycle I tried it out, it was a little odd.  It is pretty easy to insert once you practice a few times, but at first it feels awkward.  I will say, if you are at all squeamish about putting your fingers in your vagina this is not a product for you (though if you're reading my blog I doubt that's the case).  By the second month I had it down to a science.

In the four months I've been using the Softcup, I've quite simply fallen in love with it.  Now I can listen to my body's signals and get intimate whenever I want.  I'm not worried about mess, or that period scent, or having to apologize after.  The Libertine has actually performed cunnilingus during my cycle because of how well it works (he actually stopped briefly to remark how amazing the Softcup is).

If you are anything like me and get extremely excitable when your cycle peaks, you need to try this out.  Even if you're not, there is another reason it's awesome: it offers 12 hours of protection with pretty much zero upkeep.  On my worst day I have to empty it after about 6 hours, but that's as simple as doing a couple kegels while I'm in the bathroom anyway.  There have been days that I've completely forgotten I'm on my period while using these. 

A box will last me two months, and they're around $5.50, making them half the price of tampons, since I would use roughly a box of tampons a month. 

I swear by these little babies.  Check it out!